I Missed My Education Because of Bullies

Inspired by the following post on facebook I have written this article on the consequences of bullying, how to avoid them and how to deal with them after they have happened. If what you read is relevent to you then I’d like to hear from you.

“I have been bullied ever since school so i didnt go i have now left so i missed my education because of bullys bullying is horrible and no one should go through it”

It is a tough choice. Suffer on-going hurt and get the education you want, and are capable of, or leave school at the first opportunity, sacrificing your education to get away from the bullies. Now you can argue that the long term option of getting an education is the sensible choice. Of course it is. But pain is a powerful motivator. Whether it is mental or physical, most of us react strongly to make sure we avoid being hurt.

So what now? Does she go to College and gain her education there? Does she get a job? How does she ensure that no one bullies her at college or at work? Is she simply going to walk away if the same kind of situations develop? Does she allow her ambitions to be affected? Will she still allow bullies to govern what she can and cannot for the rest of her life?

Many of my clients come to me after decades of bullying. Some have fallen into a pattern of being bullied at school, bullied at college/university  then bullied at work. Often, and understandably, they come to believe that they are the cause of the problem. They notice that they ‘attract bullies’ and assume that there is something wrong with them.

It is always important to remember that it is the bullies who have the problems. Hurting people is the best way they know to get the emotions and the results they want in their own lives. Sometimes the most popular child in school has to hurt someone before they can truly feel significant.

I believe that the most effective way to stop someone from bullying you is to learn the unconscious communication skills that change the way people act towards you. Everyone can think of someone who never gets bullied. Someone who the bullies could not possible affect. What is it that this person does? How do they deal with an insult? a slap? Someone spitting at them? If you are bullied on a regular basis then I promise you that you are reacting differently to this person. If everyone could learn what these ‘bully proof ‘ people do then we really can ensure that bullying stops – completely.

I have offered our facebook friend a free consultation. A thank you for her inspiration. For the rest of you, have a look at the other articles, information and services on my web site before contacting me if you would to learn more.

Mark McKenzie